


Come home to me

by thebffsau



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), jensoo - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25208893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebffsau/pseuds/thebffsau
Summary: A jensoo one-shot au. Just because.
Relationships: Jensoo - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 36





	Come home to me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! The lyrics mentioned in this one-shot is from the song called "Homesick" by Dua Lipa. I miss jensoo so I wrote this. I'll just let you guys decide if you think this story is angsty or not. Also, this is unedited so please kindly ignore the typos.This story is also posted in aff.  
> Stay safe and healthy, everyone! Take care of your well-being please. Thank you for reading this.

Jisoo has always been hopeful.  
  
Or so she likes to believe.  
  
When Jennie asked for space back then, Jisoo easily agreed to her decision because she thought that Jennie's right. Maybe they needed it.

Jisoo didn't want to assume that they'd get back together really soon but she's always been hopeful that they'll be okay again. She just needs to be strong and ready enough to wait for Jennie. Now Jisoo knows that this was easier said than done. 

It's been six months and Jisoo's resolve is slowly crumbling. She couldn't help herself but worry about Jennie no longer wanting to get back together with her, that maybe this space or break in their relationship might not be temporary anymore.

Jisoo gets a little too preoccupied with these kinds of thoughts.The mere thought of being out of each other's life frightens Jisoo so much that she'd wake up in the middle of the night because of it. It all felt too real for Jisoo. It makes her stomach churn and it makes it harder for her to breathe.   
  
Ever since their break and after finishing all her work-related projects, Jisoo has been spending most of her free time cooped up in their apartment. She finally finished watching all the series she promised Jennie she'll watch and even cleaned up every nook and cranny of every space they have.  
  
She couldn't help but think about what Jennie's doing or how she'll react if she sees Jisoo being so productive and determined at cleaning up and staying up so late to finish all those movies and series that Jennie raved so much about.  
  
Will Jennie talk to her and go see her since she finished it already? It worked before but Jisoo scolds herself for it since it made no sense to hope for things like that especially since they're on a break.  
  
Jisoo felt her heart ache once more. She's been getting used to the pain of hoping every damn day that she'll wake up and find Jennie's arms wrapped around her waist on their bed. She almost always cries herself back to sleep when it doesn't happen. She just wants Jennie back.  
  
Is it really too much to ask for that?  
  
When they agreed to give each other some space, Jennie had told Jisoo she'll rent an apartment which almost led to an argument. Jisoo was shocked and Jennie couldn't blame her because it's been years since they moved in together but at this point, it just had to happen.Not being in each other's space especially if their presence have been a constant part of their daily lives is something Jisoo never expected she'd have to be ready for. She didn't even expect Jennie to be the one who'll even suggest that either but look where they are now.

_"Our apartment's big enough, Jen. We have two spare rooms here. I could move out if you don't-"_

_"Jisoo, please. Can you listen to me first?" Jennie pleaded. Jisoo just nodded. She already felt spent and drained just thinking about it but she relented, listening intently to Jennie's reasons._

_Jennie explained that she didn't want to move back to her parents' place because they'll immediately question and assume that something's wrong with their relationship._

_Jisoo just stared at Jennie after hearing her explanation. Both of them knew that something was indeed wrong in their relationship because if there wasn't, Jisoo's damn sure they'll be cuddling and clinging to each other instead of this. Jennie just didn't want to admit nor acknowledge it._

  
And so Jisoo accepts the reality they have since she couldn't do anything about it even if it doesn't fail to make her heart and head ache.   
  
Still, Jisoo's glad and grateful that there were times Jennie would send her random messages, reminding her not to skip meals or asking how she's been doing lately. Jisoo welcomes every question Jennie asks as she tries to extend their conversation----trying to distract herself from asking Jennie if they could video chat because that's what they always used to do before.

She missed seeing Jennie's face. She missed hearing her voice and yet she couldn't even say it out loud. She couldn't even voice out her request and Jisoo felt like a coward during these moments; although she quickly shrugs it off and comforts herself because she's much more afraid of Jennie being more distant than she already is if Jisoo will confess how much she misses her.

If Jennie's satisfied and comfortable talking to her like this, she's fine with it. She will always match Jennie's pace. Even if it feels like they're going backwards and it hurts like hell especially when those random messages and conversations became seldom to almost nonexistent these past few weeks.  


Jisoo still waits and hopes.  


Aside from cooping up in their apartment or hanging out with her friends, Jisoo spends some time in the outside world attending art classes for beginners (yes, she finally started painting) and taking piano lessons (much to her friends and Jennie's delight and surprise). It helps her cope with the longing and void she's been feeling since six months ago happened. 

Jisoo wanted to be true to her words to Jennie when they promised each other they'd heal and recuperate from whatever might've caused them to drift apart in their relationship. She knew they were too tired back then. They didn't have enough time nor make an effort to communicate and work on their relationship because both of them have been too busy with their respective careers which made them feel so burnout. Jennie had suggested they needed to give each other some space to sort themselves out. Jisoo said yes because it felt like the right thing to do at that moment. At the back of her mind, Jisoo knew it was more than that. It was Jennie who initiated and suggested the space and knowing her best friend and girlfriend for so long, her gut tells her that maybe Jennie needed this space more than her. She just wished she could've asked her why. 

For the nth time, Jisoo still looks back and wonders if they made the right decision. Because if the only problem they had was indeed lack of communication, she was damn sure that asking for a break and keeping their distance and conversations to a minimum was definitely counterproductive to solve that. Jisoo wanted to go back to that time to tell herself that she should've told Jennie that they could talk and ask each other what's wrong or what's on their minds that time then process it together when they're not tired nor burnout anymore instead of this. It seems pathetic to think about it now since she couldn't really rewrite what already happened. Come to think of it, she's much more scared of the future of their relationship (if there even is one) after this hell of a break. 

Jisoo's so used to Jennie's presence and warmth in her life that she feels like a part of her is missing when she couldn't see nor feel that Jennie's here. She wonders how the hell did she get through these six months. It makes her want to sob because it felt like she was mourning for someone who's not supposed to be gone in her life.

She knows she didn't lose Jennie but why does it feel like she already did?

She's been feeling so sad and emotional ever since and her friends knew all about it. Jisoo was more than grateful because she feels a bit better and lighter whenever she basks in the support, love and respect her friends have for her and when it comes to her relationship with Jennie.   
  
_"I miss her so much. I get that we need to sort things out on our own. I just didn't expect that this break would be this long." Jisoo's slumped shoulders and defeated look didn't sit well with her friends. They' ve been seeing their friend in this state for quite some time now so they gave her the same suggestion that hopefully Jisoo will finally act on it and maybe it will lessen their beloved friend's pain and worry._  
  
_"It's not like you two broke up, Jis. Please go ask her and tell her what you feel already. Stop prolonging your agony especially if you can't take it any longer."  
_

 _That's what Soojoo, Soojin and the rest of her friends kept telling her whenever they'd hang out or welcome themselves in Jisoo and Jennie's apartment to check on Jisoo._ _Jisoo knew they were right but she'd immediately become paralyzed with fear whenever she's about to message Jennie and so she just waits for the latter to contact her first._  


Jisoo thinks that she's becoming a real coward as time passes by when a fleeting thought of wishing her and Jennie's bestest friends were here so they could help her see and talk to Jennie without Jisoo asking the former directly came across her mind. 

_Jisoo recalls Lisa and Chaeyoung's reactions when she and Jennie invited them to have lunch together, casually explaining their situation._

" _Thanks for telling us, unnies." Chaeyoung hugged them tight. Jisoo noticed but didn't comment on Chaeyoung's teary eyes and sniffles when she broke off the hug. Jisoo just gave her a reassuring smile that they're not going anywhere._

" _What Chaeyoung said. We're still gonna hang out together, right?"_

_Lisa had asked, looking at each of them in the eyes. Jisoo saw that coming. She knew she couldn't answer that herself so she turned to Jennie._

_"Of course. Jisoo and I may be on a break but she's still my best friend. The four of us will still hang out together." Jennie agreed and Jisoo found herself feeling relieved.The last bit of Jennie's response still hurts though. It was like a subtle message for Jisoo that they couldn't see each other if it's just the two of them. Jisoo thought Jennie made that pretty clear._

They hung out a couple of times. It was a bittersweet feeling for Jisoo every time they did. Jennie was being Jennie as her best friend----back to those times when Jisoo was secretly in love with her while Jennie's being so lovely and endearingly beautiful yet seemingly oblivious. Jisoo knows Jennie enough to understand that her girlfriend was keeping her distance. Jisoo swears not to make anything awkward between them because they didn't break up and even if they did (Jisoo still believes this is a definite no-no), she will always be Jennie's best friend.

So when Chaeyoung and Lisa had to go abroad for a business trip and told them they'd be gone for a few months, Jisoo's hope of seeing Jennie completely fell down the drain.  
  
Jennie hasn't contacted her since then.  
  
And now even when Jisoo finds herself in a cafe owned by one of her friends she frequents often, hopelessly thinking about everything that happened even when she's on the mini stage, sitting on a stool behind the piano, playing a song that hits too close to home in front of a small crowd of strangers (aside from her friends and the staff). She's been practicing this song ever since she heard it play on the radio in her car during those times when she'd drive aimlessly when she can't sleep. It feels like everything reminds her so much of Jennie.  
  
_Here, where the sky's falling_

_I'm covered in blue_

_I'm running and I'm crawling_

_Fighting for you_

_When the rain stops_

_Then, darling, what will I do?_

_And I know I go all in_

_But why do I?_  


Lots of times, Jisoo wishes this is just one of those bad, vivid dreams she had experienced before but she couldn't fool herself. She knows this is her reality now. Jennie's not here to wake her up and comfort her with soothing words and warm hugs.

She couldn't help but long for Jennie. She misses her so damn much that she could feel her chest throb painfully as she continued losing herself to the song.  


_Still, nothing means nothing without you, you_  
  
 _But I wish I was there with you_  
  
 _Oh I wish I was there with you_  


Jisoo finishes the song, her fingers were still on top of the keys. She's been trying to keep her breathing steady because she finds it hard to breathe when her emotions are just too much to handle as she remembers how much it hurts to miss Jennie.

She was about to stand up when she looked at the crowd and accidentally meets the warm expressive eyes of the person who Jisoo could recognize anywhere.

Jennie.

Jisoo remained frozen on her spot. She closed her eyes for a second before opening it again to check if she's really seeing it clearly. Jennie was really there. She's in the same space as her, just a few meters away from her and Jisoo could feel her heart leap at the sight. She badly wanted to hug her yet she couldn't move. Jisoo thinks her body's also taking its time to take in the fact that Jennie was still staring back at her.That this isn't a dream.   
  
Jisoo didn't even pay attention to the crowd because all her senses focused on Jennie alone. She's finally here and that's all that matters. Whatever reason it may be, Jisoo hopes it's something good for the both of them.   
  
She hopes that Jennie would finally talk to her and decide wherever their relationship is going because now that Jisoo sees her in the flesh after not seeing her for about two months and one day, she realized she couldn't ignore the dread and pain of not seeing Jennie anymore.   
  
Jisoo finds herself accepting what she's been denying for so long——that even if there's a possibility of finally letting go of their three-year relationship, it was okay as long as she still gets to be in Jennie's life. She'll be her best friend if that's what the love of her life wants.

Jennie's her soulmate and even if they won't end up together in this lifetime, Jennie will always be her home.

Jisoo will always wait and welcome Jennie with open arms and no matter what happens, Jennie can always come home to her.


End file.
